I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
