i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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