never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
