Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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