My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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