i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
