and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
