Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize