Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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