So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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