I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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