As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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