youre lurking in front of me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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