I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
