I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
