I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
