Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
