he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
