i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
soo... how was my night?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
