If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
