Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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