I'm lost and stupid without you.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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