Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
