As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
