I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
