you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
