worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
