what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
