it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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