He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
