How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
