We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
