So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
