I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i think i have herpe
just one?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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