dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
