She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We talked him into tasing himself.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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