How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
