I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
