so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
