hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
