Pappa wants mamma naked
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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