are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
