just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
