Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
