I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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