This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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