I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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