I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
