Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
