I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
