i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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