i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize