please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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