Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
