the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
