You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
