Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
