Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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