I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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