How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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