Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
