So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My dick has a subreddit
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
