she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
