Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
